So, im sorry, but i thought we were in a recession? I also thought that i was supposed to hate New York in the winter time? (SOME DUMB BEETCH TOLD ME ID HATE IT FOR A YEAR ) If recession means i have four jobs and winter mans i can walk around brooklyn in a teeshirt and amer appear thigh highs then, eff it, count me in!
The last week has been a trip. Ill try and make it short...highlight the key factors, jew know. (dont act like jew dont know my name.
Went to Yoga To the People on st marks last thursday with nikki. Absollutely Fabulous. Its three floors of pure NYU infested yoga classes. Two rooms on each floor. A line to go up the stairs and a 30 minute wait for the all bathroom. Matts are 2 dollars and the classes are actually donation based. Perf perf perf. I could do thirty days straight of yoga for 30 dollars. Too good to be true right? well kinda- its so effin packed and stuffed with pretentious yoga goers that a 13 dollar class on flatbush starts sounding pretty pretty nice.
NO..but it was great. The super super hott ass yoga instructor walked around instructing me to do childs pose, downward facing dong, and even to throw my legs in the air (i wish) At the end he asked us to lay in childs pose and meditate on all of the "closed doors" in our life. Told us to sit at the door and accept the fact that it was closed. At this moment all i could think of was all of the iphones that were probably being called in all of the boho bags in the back of the room. Silenced of course. I even went on to think about how many missed phone callse were accumulated during our 60 minues of stretch...even wondered if there was a minute at all where none of the phones were being called.
anyways....nikki and i went to the market and stocked up on bree, bread, sushi, and hummis and then took a wintery wondery landish walk back to her apt in STUY TOWN. Her stoned friends sat there and created conspiricy theorys about who and what and why somebody whould hack into her work email and write a complaint letter to the manager. So good.
I left nikki for a few hours to go hear about crush's first day at fashion school. we met at B SIDE- the bar that i should just STOP going to every single freeking night- and discussed rulers and sewing machines over shots of crappy whisky and pbr. were so east village arent we?? i disgust myself.
friday i waited for a few men to knock down a wall at nikkis house and watched sex and the city, then trekked back to crown heights to prep myself for the week end. Went to work for a few hours and then went to crush's house.
SATURDAY- what a freeking saturday. I hosted all dang day from noon till nine and then rushed out to coat check at frog till four am. Offically the longest day i have had to work ever...i did make four hundie, yes, but by the end of it i was ready to stap my own eyes out.
Frog was good though- at about 2 am my adorably wasted roomie stumbles in offering hugs and kisses. i look behind her only to find Brett, Nissa, Ferrar, Vikki, Meghan, Walton, and Dave. This was amoment of joy for me. All of my sweet wasted california friends in one place. But not just any place... a place that is so so obviously not them or even us. A place we would only go to if our friend was the manager and drinks were free.
Surrounded by up in the club portoricaners and ghetto gangsters that listen to regge tone, all of my adorably hip california kids rolled up alredy drunk from B side, and overjoyed that their friend VIKKI was in town to visit. Lucky for me, i got to sit back in my little closet and watch the shit show. I dont mean this in abad way. I loved it and if i wasnt getting paid to hang up coats i would be doing the same exact thing. It was almost endeering to see all of them so happy and so together and so...lushy. They all rushed up to me and gave me hugs and kissses
Brett even tipped me in cigarettes- he lit threw two parliaments into my tip bowl.
There was one moment however that really got me. Wasted roomie grabbed dave by the hand and drug him down stairs. As they were striding accross the dance flo-the reflective sparkeling mirrored dance floor- dave looked at me, smiled, and stuck his tounge out in a total -what the fuck im wasted and this is fun- type of way. I dont know how to put it in words but it was something that only the girl in coat check could see and appreciate. I was overjoyed, stoked, beaming with a feeling of warmth and friendship. So happy to have the friends that i do. Hey, maybes i didnt graduate from santa barbara, but they have truly taken me in as if i were there that first day in the dorms when they all met back in 2003. Who knows, maybe i was. (what?)
sunday was mellow. I ended work at four and had my usual Middle Easter Breakfast (2eggs over easy, salad, and middle eastern yogurt...sereouslly the new eggs california for me) and a virgin bloody marry dousesd in tobasco. (my manager always says "good luck with your hemroids" when he sees me drink one. hmm. whatever that means?!?!) Tomatoe juice on a sunday afternoon is my new love. I love love love virgin bloodys and eggs and pita. Its honestly one of the number one things i live for.
Back to crush's house and on to indian food. We attempted to go to the famous 6th street indian food place (famous for its byob and small size and crazy lights and music) but were accosted by i dont know, about 6 of the managers that stand outside the door
"come here! come now! free wine on the house! come on ! what you waiting for! COME IN! OR ILL FUCKING KILLLLL YOOU NOWWW!" -them
"um what? what is happening? i dont even want to go there any more" -crush
"ya- lets- go- somewhere- else?" - me
" NO FREE WINE FREE FREEE COME IN NOWWW"
we walk away to the much fancier and much more expensive place down the street. Oh new york city restaurant business- who are you?
After dinner we went to a bar called blue and gold i think. im n ot sure. but it is offically my fave new dive in the east village. NEWAYS we watched the super bowl and attempted drunken ness. At once we were convinced that our bar tender that left to go smoke a cig outside was in the BUD LIME superbowl commercial. It got to the point where we were like asking him if he was -SUURE- he wasnt in it. hes like "ya, guys, i just didnt want you to find out my secret? I keep all my millions in the bank and bar tend on the side?
"Hey im going to a show do you want to come? Do you want to start a band with me?" -mystery texter
"hey who is this i just replaced my phone. Is it adam? you are the only person that wants to start a band with me slash lives in new york and is going to a show that i know of. What show?" -me
"no its dave, im going to see thurstin moore from sonic youth in williamsburg." -dave
This was perf. an exuse to not sleep at crush's house for a third night in a row and once again overstay my welcome- and simeltaneouslly something fun to do on a sunday. i mean yes, i did WANT to sleep with crush again, but dont i look so much cooler and more desireable when i have things to do and sonic youthers to see? right (god i hope crush never reads this, can you see me trying to deny that its about him "yah, um, totally i mean like ya...its not about you dont worry- ya")
So there i go, stumbeling off to the L at 10 pm excited to see a room full of cute wburg hip kids and my sweet little dave. How excited am i? Well- i shouldnt have been. BC it SUCKED. It was the worst expiramental noise i have ever herad. It made the animal collective sound like Wilson Phillips. As i was looking around there were bearded and beanied hotties taht were actually pretending to LIKE it too! it was terrible! how can you bob your head to errrr ahhhhhh sqeeeeek waaaaaa? When they finished my friend @#$% (dont member his name) was like "sereously? were on earth? this is planet earth? is that wat youre telling me? ppl are clapping?
The best part was that we didnt even realize it was thurstin on stage!! Dave whips out his i phone and goes " bridge, this is thurstin moore from sonic youth" i look at the picture then look up on stage at the key boardist packing up his equip. shit- that , NOISE, was who i payed six dollars to see. sweet. Just when i thought i was sooooo hip and soooooo cool for being able to say i saw thurstin mooore, i realize that i didnt even know what he looked like. i didnt even like his set!
of course there were the trendy asians with bangs going up to him afterwords "that was really reallly good, that was sooo goood" Its like really?? is there really a huge white elephant in this venue and were just gunna not talk about it? Whatever- on to the next dive bar. after 2 hours of cheeze balls, beers, and todds girlfriend telling me i should move to the south and find a man to make love to during thunder storms, i decided it was time to go home. Thank god dave and i shared a cab. I passed out with my legs in his lap unaware of the drive from point a to point crown heights.
So there monday was. I had the entire day to sit in my little room, enjoy my christmas lights, and watch gossip girl, L word, The City, and Brooklyn Real word, and reflect upon my crazy crazy new york life that i lead. Im kinda spoiled on the weekends. I eat fabulous meals for free, get taken out by a cute crush, and get to stay in the east village. Then, come monday, i get to leave the city and take a 30 minute people watching subway ride back to Crown Heights, the most beautiful neighborhood ever especially in the winter. Ya, i might not have no money, but fuck, I live in new york, have five milliion jobs, five million friends, and about five million happy-gasms every week. Little things satisfy me, you see?