I DONT GET PAID TO BE A SLAVE

                                                                   MY RESTAURANT
                                              MISSING BARNACLES, AS ALWAYS...

So i decided to not continue from where I left off. Too personal. I didnt think anybody would read this dang here blog but it looks like 47 ppl have since last week? is that sereous? Well, ill tell a little-

So friday night at 4am i roll up to my crush's house (we had plans to hang out that weekend. he lives a few blocks from work so it would eliminate subways and waking up early...oh ya and hes cute to so that dont hurt) 

What im wearing: leather jacket, skinny ponts, and stripper heels (my jeffrey campbells i got for free) awesome. 

What i dont have: a phone to call him

So there i am, tiny white girl with curly bangs and stripper heels, four thirty am, homeless, crushless, hopeless...

As im clunk clunk clunking away to give up and go home i hear a "briiidddggeette" from the distance. Thank god. Success, crush present and hopes returned.

He greets me, whisks me away upstairs and the rest is history.

wake up at 11 for my 12 hour shift, buy a new pair of converse, and got my  hostess on.

speaking of hostessing, i havent reallly dished about my restaurant. Its amazing. My co workers are out of this world cool. One of my managers blows all other managers in the world out of the water, and the food is spectacular. Im only there a few days a week being hostess but i love it anyway. (meaning-not really worth the time or money...i really SHOULD be either waitressing or getting another joob but i love it so much it would break my heart to not work there anymore)

the food is middle eastern and delicious. Brunch is CRAZY. Im pretty sure we have the best bloody marry's in all of New York City. Ppl travel from Jersey to have our middle eastern hot sauce that we make in house. The customers are nothing but the most fabulous of fabulous east villagers. I swear. The fashion that enters that place is breathtaking. spectacular. off the chain etc..

The best part though, the absolute best part about working there is the GAY A's (god i hope i dont get in trouble for writing about this) The gay as are a group of about 30 gay AA members that come into the restaurant every saturday at 8 15 after their weekly meeting. They are friendly, fabulous, and fashionable. All of them decked out in patent leather combat boots, 90s flannels, spectacular leather jackets, droopy beanies, premium graphic tee shirts, denim to die for, and scarves that put my scarves to shame. Its amazing. Oh and not to mention that they are all either BEauTIFUL beautiful "urban mountain men" or "modern day buddy holly's" Oh and their personalities...their sweet sweet personalities. So polite and friendly. Most know me by name bc im the only hostess ever, and when they say it i get giddy with happiness. I litterally giggle when they walk in. its stupid. but so perfect at the same time. What i wouldnt do to hangout with them all the time. ahhhhh

So my cool manager asked me to go out on sunday night with him.(he looks like a japanese indian princess) I failed. Crush's cousin offered me some smot and i nearly fell asleep right then and there. not a good idea. who do i think i am? Anyway, I was really bummed because not only did i really really want to hangout with him but i felt like i was overstaying my welcome at crushs house...you know? so awk. im so mad. whatever. 

The past few days have been booooooring. I had to wait for my phone to come so i spent all of my time watching Freaks and Geeks and catching up with my mtv madness. (i know)

Today i went and ran errands WHOOO so exciting. I made a guilty guilty stop at the half off sale at the sal arm. I got 20 dollars worth of amazing 90s sweatters and even a black and white baggy 90s dress. (i have a problem) 

When i was in the sal arm one of the workers had brought her boyfriend to work. he was just sitting there watching her hang up clothes. soooo odddd.  telling him about how she gets paid to hang up clothes, not to be a slave you know? man that sheet ees stupid. I was rummaging through racks and thinking "i so didnt just hang up unwanted skirts in the sweater section, i swear!"

This week end is gunna be cray cray. JEF CAMP tomorrow morning from 10-6, yoga from 7-8, sleepover at nikkis, house sitting all day, one hour of restaurant, coat check all night long, 12 hours of hhostessing, coat check all night long again, then sunday morning host. WHEW.

Jamies friend is coming next week and i might be going to seattle soon. all the more to look forward to. HOLLA at your boy, time for me to go.

xoxo

gossip grill

"YOU HAD ME AT SHADOW PUPPET"

EAST VILLAGE- THE LOVE OF MY LIFE
THOMPKINS SQUARE PARK-EAST VILLAGE
ALPHABET CITY
I WAS A ROBOT ONCE IN CHICAGO

OH MAN- HAVE I GOT A BLOG FOR YOU!!! SO much has happened since i have seen you last! I actually have things to blog about. Which is fun. Life has drastically changed in the last two weeks and it seems like there isnt a second that goes by that im not thinking about how wild everything is. Im constantly baffled at how life can be so shitty and then go from 0 to 60 in 2.5, ya know?

    So life. oh life. I rolled in to my apt this morning after not having slept here since last Wednesday and greeted mike ruby and Meghan (roomies best friend from college thats staying with us right now) with hugs and kisses. (I think it freaks mike out when i try and hug him and hang out with him in his room all of the time haha) Meghan and i stretched for 30 minutes and then went on a quick winters run down eastern parkway. I may have been in pain with my over worked and under heated smokerslungs yes, but afterwords i felt ecstatic. I litterally felt a body rush from  my work out. Came home and stretched and listened to new Boniver. SO perfect. So SO good.

     I know what you are thinking...why havent you slept at home in the last week? Well it goes a lil somethin like theees...

   Thursday night i decided it was time to party. I had a little extra money and wanted to spend it on jack and cokes with kelan. Kelan is my newest bar hoping buddy. She is a friend of a friends sister that i met through dave/adam/brett. At first i wasnt sure if we would get along so much because she is unlike all my friends at home, but in the last month we have become quite close. She lives in the East Village in this adorable adorable tiny apt on 13th and avenue A. (aka alphabet city) Its so the little brick new york street that you see in movies. Especially at night. When it rains steam comes out of the sewer. When it snows there are small collections of snowflakes littering all of the fire escapes and dumpsters scattered on the narrow sidewalks. Its quaint and almost has a charm overload. It makes me so happy! ANyways- I called kelan up and she informed me that she was going to PLAN B- a bar on avenue b. 

   On the subway i got. I was dressed in a high waisted skirt and a turtle neck (hot) and ready to party. When i show up the long haired bouncer almost doesn't beleive that im over 21. I normally dont have any problems with this but i had full bangs and my choice of fit was very little girl ish if you know what i mean. I get past the door guy and trip into a hot and sweatty crowded bar. Already i can feel it:strange crowd. I find kelan, already tipsy and dancing, and allow her to buy me a drink. We find our way to the back (it felt like swimming in a pool of mud w all of the drunk hotties getting their freak on) of the bar where our friends are dancing and talking. To my surprise it was all of my new york girlfriends! April, Erika, Nissa, and Taea(stripper friend who im OBSESSED WITH)

*****side note- NEW YORK GIRL FRIENDS- This is the group of girls that i have become friend with since i have been here. Again, i have met them through santa barbara people. We all work crazy hours and dont get to hang as much as i would like to but I look at them as my group of friends here. ***********

Anyways- So i see all of my ladies and scream with joy. There were like four of us all hanging out at the same time! I looked around and thought "damn were a cute bunch" All of them are soo pretty and have such great personalities. Maybe were not too close of friends yet but seeing them all there that night made me realize how lucky I am that i just waltzed in to a new city and within months have this huge group of amazing friends. (note to self hang out with them more)

        It was soo good to see them but after one cocktail i couldnt hang. The music was loud and sleezy and i couldnt eve hear anybodys voice. April Nissa and i walked out and headed towards the subway. Cold and windy but still perfectly new york

   On the way i get a call from NIKKI- my favorite person i have met here. Unfortunatly she IS my roomies ex girlfriend...but we just get along so well that we seek to look past the awkness of the whole thing. She is from DC and moved to new york to go to school and persue her artistic/acting/shadow puppeting career. ya no big dea. She had me at shadow puppet.

   So she calls me up and we have a rende vous on second and second(btw east village and soho) I take her to my favorite thompkins square park bar called Doc Holiday's and we have a 5 dollar stella and talk about current events. We talk about our boy situations, how we should live together, how money is tight, but we still have our youths, and lastly we plan our 23rd birthdays together (turkish bath house/indoor pool in midtown. THEME-GOLD) We walk down the street to the french fry shop and talk to the owner who is a little old man that hasnt had a day off in 30 years.  The night is over. We walk down the chilly avenues of south eastern manhattan and call it a night. 

     I wake up the next morning in Nikki's East VIllage apt ready to start my day. OUt her window she has a view of the hudson and The bridges. I inhale and exhale with joy. I love new york.

    Ty sends me an email and asks me to go to QUEENS and pick up the final product of the look book. YAY! extra money and a trip to queens.

********side not two- I LOVE LOVE LOVE QUEENS. Its so beautiful and industrial. If Brooklyn is Romance and Manhattan is sex then Queens is a first date. It makes me giddy.

So i went to LINCO printing and sat in the waiting room waiting for the proofs. When they came my mouth dropped in fright. "Did i really do this? Did i put all of this together?"

The inside cover says stylists Ty and Bridgette Bayley (ty equals my boss) Im so cool it hurts right? But ya, the whole thing looks great. I will have to scan and post it on here so you can see it. I mean i look at it and just cant beleive that i  not only was a part of but somehow managed to put together a whole look book. You know? i may sit here and complain that i dont have a job but shit i freekin pretty much organized the whole ad campaign for spring. ya, i rule the earth.

    I took a cab and gazed upon my husteling and busteling little new york. My taxi packed, never ending gorgeous concrete jungle and its zoo of characters. The cold air made the color pallat of ny brighter and more apparent then usual. Once again, I realized how in love i was. Went back to the showrrom and revealed the finished product to my boss. He was thrilled. We did it! its over and now all we have to do is send it out to stores and press contacts and we will be set. Next stop- the frat bar downstairs for celebratory jack and cokes.

   one our and 2 coctails later im semi stumbeling out of Hickey's realizing -shit i have to go to work! i had to book it to brooklyn, pack a weekend bag, and somehow make it back to the cafe before 7 30! Somehow i did it. I gathered my things and made it to work.

    Later that night I worked coat check at my friends bar. I could get into it but that would take forever. Basically it was a ghetto (im sorry) ass crowd. Bitchy divas and sketchy up in the club gangsters. At one point there was a long line for coat check and some fat beeep said "They gotta get a fast bitch up in this shit!" bc i was too slow. Whatever! I was steaming- no FUMING mad. Over and over in my head i was thinking "god im never ever doing this ever ever again!" OF course a few hours and 260 dollars later i agreed to come back next weekend. Torture but hell it pays the rent

   At one point some guy was FURIOIUS at me because i was taking along time. I cleared my table  and put my change bowl and my phone on the seat next to me. five minutes later my phone was gone. I just knew it. I could just feel that it was the guy who was mad at me. I later found out that since i didnt cancel it right away he started answering my calls and trying to destroy my life. I HATE HIM! I am for sure going to find out who he called and try to eff with him. Maybe call his friends and try to pretend to be the police and scare them into sending my phone back. YAH that will show em! god.

It was 415 and i was finally done. I hopped in a cab and headed to my new crush's  house

-------------------TO BE CONTINUED------------------------

   

IM NOT A LESBIAN I SWEAR

Its cold today. I actually havent left the apt but i attempted having a cigarette and when i opened the window i nearly fell over. I like it though. Maybe its just because this is my first winter but it isn't nearly as awful as ppl say it is. Its refreshing and nice.

Anyways, aside from the fact that my upstairs neighbors play the same song on repeat all day long, my life has been pretty mellow. Last Night Dave and I went to franklin park- the best stinking bar in the world. It was opened last year but looks like its been there for decades. Its so classy and sleek and old time looking.  I think they even used old broken down seats and bar stools so it wouldnt feel like a new joint. The best part about it is that it is litteraly located in between two apt buildings on a random side street in crown heights. Super cute and grungy but not in a hip cool way you know? Its like, when you are there you wanna ask all of these ppl how they even know about the place. Its def my new fave brooklyn Romance.

    Dave and i drank Brooklyn lager and talked about current events. I have to admit its strange meeting a guy friend for a drink bc you feel like everyone assumes you are like together you know? and picturing me and dave in that way is so awk! i hate when ppl say this but its like a brother sister situation. eewwww,

   None the less, i still managed to get wasted and fall in love. His name was- um i actually dont remember what his name was- but it was something hot. He LITTERALLY a mexican greaser with tattos. How weird is that? I just wrote in my jeffrey campbell personal ad that i was seeking a mexican greaser with tattoos~ anyways. I guess it really doesnt matter. I sat there at the bar swaying back and forth staring at him and listening to him talk about MEXICO (hes from there but has been here ten years)

me- YAHHHH towtally! yaahhhh, i know what you mean

him- You know, eees like, Mexico ees such a sad countreey these days. No money, no morals. Ah...but i love my country. ive been here for ten years now? yes ten and ees like i like eet her but chou know. I have my job here and my........

me- YAAAH no totally i totally know what you mean.

oh god! its so funny how i fall in love so easily. Like ill see somebody on the subway and be convinced that they are themost beautiful person in the world and that id do anything to talk to them. like, "oh that homeless person pissing himself over there is so hot. god i wish hed talk to me. His beard is so dreamy!" why? why cant i just be picky? 

YES! go drunk bridgette. Anyways it was time for me to walk the drunk walk home and try not to get hit by cars along the way. I left my love at the bar and nothing came of it. I did however find out where he works. I might just stop by and stalk him a little? thats normal right?

as for other loves? i feel funny talking about it bc what if ppl actually read this thing and it gets around and somehow he finds out and then thinks im a freek. well ill reveal a smal bit- i have a new crush. actually? thats all im revealing. New crush fun times.

A few months back a good friend of mine and i were partying in williamsburg (silverlake of brooklyn) and having discussion after discussion about why boys SUCK. I had just seen beach house with a friend from work (which felt like a lesbian date by the way) and was still buzzing over there performance (drunkenly and musically) I was fired up. Giving advice right and left...ranting and raving....just basically being AWESOME.

then, guys, guess what we did? just guess

Friend- "thats it bridgette. we are lesbians now. Lets find a lesbian bar and ill pay for a cab and were going to find girlfriends. "

Me- "oh my god thats the best idea ever!"

We hop in a cab, pay 22 dollars at 4am to book it to the meat packing industry, and arrive only to discover that we have been dropped off on the wrong street and that iphones apparently dont work on the west side. Yes. thats what being sober will do for ya.

So its late, even for new york, but we are still determined. we were all like " were not going to let this stop us! We will find lesbian lovers we will! boys suck! eff em" An hour later after 10 blocks of straght up confusion and stumbeling, we fianlly find a bar. Maybe it dont have no rainbow flag on top but it is a place that serves alchihol. 

Its five, im spending rent money on whiskey cokes, and were pissed.Not only were there no lesbians in sight but we were at an over priced west side yuppy spot surrounded by coked out stock brokers and their lame ass business suits (dont get me wrong, i dont dislike these ppl its just tha when your wasted and all of the sudden find out that youre into girls this isnt exactly what you want to find.)

"ooooh girl, hay girl hay, I was workin all up in the ups store and shit and this cute guy came in and shit. ooooh girlll he was smoking hot"

her false nails tipped with dollar bill signs were waving franticly back in forth through the air. Her monroe lip piercing was moving in and out of herface twinkleing across the dim lit pool hall. Roots showing, adams apple protruding, and midriff revealed. She is Connie...our new found trannie.

Not only did she have a fellow trannie friend named "Maddie Party Girl", no that wasnt enough. I would have been just fine with that. But no, she just HAD to be from jersey and have an amazing NJ accent. It was beyond what two girls could ask for.

We looked at eachother and just KNEW it. We had to make them our friends. we head over to sit at a table next to them. awkward and creepy as heck. after minutes of trying to make ourselves known we finallly catch their attention and say "hiiii"

One thing led to another and within minutes we were making girls night out plans and doing britney spears dances and smoking cigarettes on the sidewalk. Numbers were exchanged and plans were made. Its offical, we were now obsessed with connie and maddie.

Sad to say its been months and no hangouts have ocurred. I guess thats the perfect way for things to turn out. Just even having the pleasure of meeting them was enough for me. Ah the whole world should be jealous.

Please enjoy the pics i posted. Hopefully my cam will be up and running soon and more pics will be up. Until next time-keep it real

Found on Missed connections- New York City-

EVERY LITTLE THING

Brooklyn. Just saying the word Brooklyn makes me hungry. Hearing the word rolling off of somebody's tounge over and over again in my mind sends me into fits of just...i dont know. Fits of amazingness. Everything about the dang bourough drives me wild. I am madly wildly head over heels in love with Brooklyn. I get tingly when i think about it. It makes my whole body feel good. It makes my whole being collapse with satisfaction at night as i lay in my tiny twin bed and just absorb it all. Mentally, physically, emotionally...

Everything about it in winter time is romantic. I dont even know what that really means, i just know its true. The sound of ice crunching under my shoes on the sidewalk is romantic. The endless jungles of bricks and limestone and broken pavement are romantic. The culture is romantic. Eastern parkway and its endless stretch of brick road and snowy topped trees is fucking romantic. Seeing the city sparkeling behind me as i ride in a taxi over the Manhattan bridge into BK is romantic. No! fuck that- its zexy. Erotic even. Ya, even that broken window that is patched up with duck tape and a trash bag is romantic. 

But enough of me attempting to be poetic. Lets get down and dirty and talk about current events. 

First things first- CROWN HEIGHTS. I live in this amazing part of brooklyn called crown heights. It is considered to be in the south eastern part of Brooklyn. about 2 miles away from the island and parallel with the manhattan bridge. Its streets consist of a mixture between blacks and hasidic jews. (sorry political correctness, i just cant be you right now) I litteraly live at the deviding point btw the two on a street called Union. To the right of my bld is the million dollar jewish mansions and to the left of me is the, well, ghettoness?

But theres something different about this type of ghetto. Its a friendly ghetto. Its the type of ghetto where when im walking down the street with my blonde curly hair and hammitt bag nobody thinks twice. nobody snickers or stares and calls me little white girl. Im sorry, i have to be honest...but i am not used to this. I am used to feeling like an outcast in this type of setting.  I think they see me and just thing, "oh no big deal just another dumb white bitch moving in to my hood. Were used to it" Lucky for me it might also be due to the fact that they probably think im just another  hasidic woman walking home to my husband with his top hat and my children with their sideburn curls.

Its almost like poetry walking in my neighborhood. It is a beautiful beautiful area. All of the buildings are brownstones and all of the businesses are small and family owned. It is drenched in the scent of fried chicken and laundry soap, and covered with yellow glowing lamp posts and dead winter trees. Its perfect. absolutely perfect.

    So what if it takes me 30 minutes to get to manhattan on the 5 train? No matter if i heard 7 gun shots the other night. And who cares if nobody bothers to shovle the snow off of the sidewalks? i wouldnt have it any other way. My rent is cheap and my  neighbors are friendly...thats all a girl could ask for really.

    Oh? what? who is the "cashman"? you ask? Lets see, how do i describe this? Hes a little boy named curtis that tags the entire neighborhood (including the door to our bldg) with a crown and dollar signs. No, not red man or method man or even super man...CASH MAN. The mysterious little gangster that could.

There are times when i miss Los Angeles. LA has its own type of mexican beachy romance as well. A feeling of warmth and nostalgia that i cant even put into words. Friends that i couldnt find anywhere else. Sunlight and salty air that is borderline orgasmic. But i feel that i have truly found my home for the next, i dont know, while? Brooklyn is home to me. At least until i get my next hairbrained idea and decide to move to Jackson Mississippi and spend a year on the river of course. wink>

Times were rough for a while. I spent a good week in bed crying and feeling sorry for myself. So depressed i couldnt even bare the thought of looking for another job. My hours were cut and i had lost a good deal of money going home to cali for christmas. My phone was turned off and ididnt even have money to ride the subay. I was lonely and sad and wanted so badly to just to move home.

I am happy to say however, that things have looked up. I now have abut seven random jobs that are semi paying my bills, and i am able to afford groceries again. Thanks to endless posi vibes I truly feel that things are turning around. My internship is going to start paying me, My restaurant is busy as ever, Steph Hammit has me running errands and getting paid for it, I might be a coat check girl at my friends bar, and i got paid 300 bucks for the photoshoot i did last week. Nothing too drastic, but just enough to keep up the good fight and make me realize that even when i find myself in times of trouble somehow everything works out. I have truly realzed that every little thing, is gunna be alright.

  Who could be sad when everyone and everything in life is so beautiful. I dont need no diamond rings. All i need is my jacket and a magical wonderful wintery walk down a snowy path in brooklyn. mmmm. yezzszz